just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize