I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
