Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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