This is not my ceiling
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
