fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize