Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
