I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
