time to smoke my breakfast
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
