the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
May the power of my ass compel you!!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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