i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I heard we made out
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH