Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess