sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
