Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
