she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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