Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
