I cockslap morals
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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