What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
