The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
