I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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