whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
