honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
