P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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