Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Randomize
