your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
