apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
