So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
