As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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