he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize