my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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