belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
