I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize