i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
