haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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