I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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