Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
