Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
