Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
