How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
