11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
