there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My pussy is not your playground.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize