He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its not stalking. its research.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
