ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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