Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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