Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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