Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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