I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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