i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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