Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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