Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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