So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
