so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
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so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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