i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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