she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
