Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
