I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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