Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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