omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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