is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
