i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's never too late to be topless.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
